life without you
by mcflyandfaxcompletemylife47
Summary: post Fang *spoilers* max can't take it anymore so she tries to put a stop to it. all of it. then she realized leaving her best friend isn't the smartest thing to do. T for violence. better than it sounds, i can't write summaries very well...


**Disclaimer: i don't own Maximum Ride, James Patterson does. I don't oen Dear Agony(except my copy), Breaking Benjamin does. i do, however, own this storyline.**

This was it. The end I've been waiting for, the least painful finish. If he really loved me, he would save me before it's over. I knew he was watching me, he was always watching me. He just couldn't see how I was feeling inside.

At the edge of a 147 storey cliff, ready to jump, I had no second thoughts. I knew I was ready to do it today, ready to jump today. No, I will not be extending my wings to save myself; this is how it has to end. I taped my wings to my back with duct tape, and tied string around my torso to keep them put. I was feeling constricted but I just didn't care at all anymore.

He tore my heart out, so I was falling into a billion tiny pieces. I just couldn't take it anymore, the pain won't go away. It had been two years and the pain just wouldn't leave, it just got worse every day. This _is _the perfect end; no one has to get hurt but me. I wondered if bird kids could go to heaven, if they were allowed in, I hoped I was.

I left no note for anybody out in the obvious. If they wondered where I was and searched for me, they would find the notes and know how it feels. Nobody needed to know what I was doing. They just needed to go o with their lives and pretend that me and…F…_him _had never been around.

I looked down at my watch. 11:59pm. 1 more minute and I would be free from life. I pressed play on my iPod. It was on repeat. The song? Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin. It explained my feelings perfectly.

_I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end you were made to make it hurt disappear into the dirt carry me to heavens arms light the way and let me go take the time to take my breath I will end where I began_

12:00. I launched myself off the cliff.

_and I will find the enemy within 'cause I can feel it crawl beneath my skin dear agony just let go of me suffer slowly is this the way it's got to be dear agony_

I could feel the wind whipping at my face. My wings were cramping, wanting to extend and catch the wind. I forced myself not to scream.

_suddenly the lights go out let forever drag me down I will fight for one last breath I will fight until the end and I will find the enemy within 'cause I can feel it crawl beneath my skin_

I started crying then and there.

_Dear agony just let go of me suffer slowly is this the way it's got to be_

Hoping Angel would know that I did this for her own good. And that I loved her.

_Don't bury me faceless enemy_

Hoping Gazzy would know to be strong and grow up to be a great man. And that I loved him.

_I'm so sorry is this the way it's got to be?_

Hoping Nudge wouldn't get hung up on the topic and know to live a life free of danger like she deserved. And that I loved her.

_Dear agony leave me alone God let me go_

Hoping Iggy would know to forget the past and take over the flock with all of their help, I told that to him in the note I left with his name on it. And that I loved him.

_I'm blue and cold black sky will burn_

Hoping F_… _F_…Fang_ knew that I loved him with all of my heart and he'd better not think of returning to the flock.

_Love pull me down hate lift me up just turn around there's nothing left somewhere far beyond this world I feel nothing anymore _

I saw a flash of black speeding towards me. So he _had _been watching. I also saw the ground coming at me.

BAM! I hit the ground. I should have felt pain but I couldn't feel my body except for my arms that were on the up-side of my body when I hit ground. I could taste blood in my mouth though.

_Dear agony just let go of me suffer slowly is this the way it's got to be _

I heard a thud to my left and turned at the sound. Fang stumbled towards me yelling my name. "MAX? WHAT THE HELL, MAX. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? NO, Max you can't die on Me." he started crying as he was checking the damage I'd done to myself. "I'm not letting you. No, NO, NO." he took my face into his hands and stare right into my eyes. "I love you I'm sorry, I'm soooo sorry. I was doing this for the good of the flock you're not going to die now."

_Don't bury me faceless enemy I'm so sorry is this the way it's got to be dear agony I feel nothing anymore._

My vision was blurring and I knew the end was near. He was looking around frantically so I reached up to his face with my hand. It was covered in blood. Huh, I must have lost a lot then. I placed it on his cheek which made him stop.

He looked down at me, helpless. Tears were falling out of his concerned eyes. "This is the road I chose for myself and this is how it has to end. There's nothing left for me." My hand was falling from his face; I had no more energy to hold it up. He quickly grasped it with his own hand and held it to his chest.

"Do you feel that" he asked quietly. I could, I could feel his heart pumping fast and feel his blood pumping in the palm of my hand. I gave a slight nod.

"That's what you have to live for. Me, and Iggy, and Nudge, and Gazzy, and Angel, for all of us. We have blood pumping through us. We have hearts. We have lives. We all live for _you_. If you go why _should _we live? We're here to listen to your voice and save the world, Max, without you, we have no purpose to live." He looked at me swallowing back tears. "Please Max, please." His voice cracked on my name. _Crap._ I probably should have talked to someone instead of this.

I clasped his hand that was holding mine. He looked up at me, eyes pleading. "I love you too." The darkness came over me then. At least I told him how I've been feeling. But if I had a choice I wouldn't have done it any differently.

-'Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep'. Was that a heart monitor? Suddenly I was well aware of my surroundings. I could smell that antiseptic-y odor. I opened my eyes to see a bright white light in the corner of a room. I was propped up in bed, hooked up to a bunch of wires. A hospital?

I looked around. Angel was curled up on the end of my bed. Gazzy was in a chair to the right of me, leaning against the foot of my bed snoring. Nudge was in the same position as Gaz, just closer to my waist and not snoring. Iggy was wide awake staring sightlessly across my bed. He looked as if he were trying his hardest to stop himself from attacking whatever was across from him. I noticed everyone was on the right side of my bed… that could only mean one thing…

**R&R if you want any more chapters... or i may just discontinue the story :D**


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